Playing Your Child Up

When is it okay to play your child up a grade in sports? As parents we waiver between our desire to see our child be successful and our desire to protect. Is it better for them to struggle and play against better competition or for them to be successful against kids their own age? It is a tough question and made tougher when you, the parent, are also the coach.

Playing a child up a grade is a common occurrence in all sports today. Throw in the fact that it is common for boys with summer birthdays to start later when entering kindergarten, you see kids that are more mature for their grade and could play at a higher level. AAU and other heavily competitive organizations even organize their tournaments by age instead of grade to accommodate for these situations such as 12&U versus 6th grade. They go so far as to allow for a certain number of grade exceptions for those kids that have been held back.

I have had first hand experience with playing my child up with mixed success. In baseball, my child was physically able to play at the same level but was not ready mentally - especially when you consider he was a summer birthday that did not stay back a year - as he was typically 1 to 2 years younger then the other kids and if they played up a grade, he could be 3 years younger. In basketball, he was always a lower end player on the older team but gradually improved to earn more playing time but still towards the bottom.

Not until he played with a team made up of his own grade and against players in his grade, did he truly find success. At that point the light went off in his head. He realized that the game was slower and his work with the older kids allowed him to play at a different pace and with different skills than those in his age group. After that, he was able to translate success at that grade level to the older team as his confidence skyrocketed.

There is another instance where a younger basketball player played with an older team and was their point guard and a dominant player at the older level. As the kids moved on to school ball and played with only their grade, they found a huge gap in their team as they did not have a player ready to take over the point. That could have a huge impact on a high school program as gaps exist as the sophomores thru seniors enter the same playing arena.

So, when is it okay to play your child up? Well, it depends. It depends on the child, it depends on the child's team and it depends on what you hope to gain. Below I have listed a series of pro's and con's that hopefully you will consider when determining whether or not your child should play up a grade.

Pro's
- gain valuable experience against tougher competition
- start a year earlier in a program gaining more skills
- play with more experienced players
- less pressure to be "the guy"
- added confidence if you have success against older kids

Con's
- could be facing kids that are at least two years older
- not playing with age group
- unless really good, doesn't get the chance to be "the guy"
- typically, not viewed as a leader due to age
- is it the best for the program or the individual?
- could lead to dissension and resentment on the team
- coaches nightmare if playing time is not deserved or parents are not on board

Personally, it was not the right thing for him in baseball. It actually hampered his development. In basketball, I feel it helped my child's development initially, but he needed to have success and he was able to achieve that by playing against his age group. Now, I will have him play with his age group and from time-to-time, play him up a grade for special tournaments or will find higher level tournaments of his age group to challenge him in his continued development.